How you see yourself, your potential and your abilities are functions that are within your ability, and you need to work on all of them.

Self-esteem is essential for navigating life's challenges and fulfilling our potential. It is the fuel for our life’s engine, and without a solid sense of self, misery takes hold.

If anything, Abraham Maslow, who personally experienced deficits in self-esteem early in his life, is a shining example of how we can turn our lives and our self-esteem around to our benefit. He would go on to be one of the most preeminent psychologists in history.

Maslow developed a hierarchy of needs that must be met before we can achieve our potential. This formula starts with the most basic need (food) and gradually progresses towards self-actualization. Unfortunately, there are many snags in that hierarchy, and we must be prepared to acknowledge and overcome them. His revealing biography is exemplary and can be seen as providing a self-directed journey for all of us, and setting an example for determination over disappointment.

History tells us of extraordinary individuals who have overcome incredibly low self-esteem and pushed themselves to greatness. They include Albert Einstein, Jane Addams, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Baruch Spinoza. Thomas Edison, too, who lost almost all of his hearing at the age of 12 because of a high fever, would go on to become an incredibly productive inventor with over 1000 patents.

Eleanor Roosevelt was self-conscious about her appearance because her mother had denigrated her as an unattractive, almost ugly, young woman whose chances in life for marriage were limited. Her mother, unfortunately, was considered one of the great beauties of her time.

Einstein was viewed by his teachers as someone with little promise academically, and look what he achieved. Jane Adams had a special kind of tuberculosis that made her spine curve, preventing her from playing and running with other children. She also had a permanent limp.

Katherine Hepburn was so anxious she noted in an interview that she was afraid people would find out she was a bore. While in a Broadway play, she had a bucket off-stage for her frequent upchuckings.

Probably no one, or at least most people in your life, has neglected one thing, and that is to pay you compliments rather than ask why you did or didn't do something. If there is one thing that does not help self-esteem, it's negativity from others and, of course, from ourselves. We know that we are our own worst critics because we cannot see the good points in us, and I think that everyone has good points.

Cruel comments, such as the ones that Eleanor Roosevelt endured from her mother, are the fertile soil for the development of poor self-esteem. I recall hearing that Barbra Streisand’s mother always commented that she wasn't a good-looking girl. And with her singing voice, her mother, similarly, was not complimentary. Streisand is quoted as saying, "Other people were praising my voice, but my mother would say, ‘It’s not good enough, it’s not strong.’” I will bet you that in all her years of therapy that is one thing that has been clear throughout.

I wonder what Woody Allen sought when he entered therapy for 20 years. Incredibly gifted as a comedy writer and then as a film producer and director, his demons must have been something he wished to squash. The comment that is attributed to him is, "You’ve got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others.”

Who kills everyone's self-esteem, and when does it start? The answer is almost self-evident: It starts in childhood and how your parents or your family relate to you. You carry this with you into the outside world and present yourself after having undergone years of effort by these people.

So, just as our parents are our first teachers, they are also the architects of our self-esteem. We can change our living situation if we're not happy with it. It's important to start exploring our options as soon as possible for a better life.